Okay, not much effort was put into the actual writing so I do apologize for my horrible grammar.
4-8-14: The Lives I’ve Lead and the Life I’m Leading
Stories are my pride. I can tell you the many lives I lived. The adventures I have gone on; the things I’ve done: I’ve traveled the world, I’ve been in an alternative universe, I’ve fallen in love, I’ve saved people and I’ve killed people too. I’ve made amazing friends and not only has stories given me multiple lives, but it has taught me much for the life I lead. The problem is… I can’t save the world like the characters in my stories. I’m not that interesting as the characters in my story. I read because I can be anyone, and I could do anything.
Growing up my world was small. The world was only the people I’ve encountered, the places I had gone to, but now I’ve come to see how large the universe is, and how large earth itself is and how so many god damn people are suffering. The earth is suffering and I feel as if I can’t do anything about it and I’m not doing anything about it. I’m merely living my alternative lives through stories and I’m ashamed that I’m not living the one I have. I don’t want to be intimidated by the vastness of the universe. I want to be as brave as the characters I’ve admired. I want to face it head on and look at myself and think, ‘I’m pretty damn awesome’.
Photo Source: http://jonasdero.deviantart.com/art/Stonehold-327302388?q=favby%3Aartdrawnbyvomitxx%2F45005675&qo=4
1. Leave eyes closed and recollect dreams.
Photo Source: http://martasyrko.deviantart.com/art/sleep-307152032
After I have recollected them, I write them down on this site here: https://www.dreamboard.com/
Later when I have the time I interpret them.
2. Stretch/ Exercise
I never find the time to stretch during the day. So setting time to stretch and do a small workout in the morning feels great! I set about 7-10 minutes for stretches. My small workout is usually exercises that prevent injury.
3. Breakfast/ Vitamins:
How would you like your day to be? Pick 3 things you would like to accomplish that would make you feel like your day is a success. Follow up at night. Write objectively what you did that day and interpret it after you read it objectively. Comment.
5. Review Schedule & quotes:
Photo Source: http://simplysarajean.blogspot.com/search/label/Journals
I’ve selected the following below.I have a vast collection of quotes that inspire me, but I feel these quotes apply to me the most now. They help me to keep on track.
❝Do not let others affect your decisions. Do what you intend to do and say.❞
❝It’s not who you are beneath, but what you do that defines you.❞
❝Don’t settle. Don’t finish crappy books. If you don’t like the menu, leave the restaurant. If you’re not on the right path, get off it.❞
❝Acknowledging the good that is already in your life is the foundation for all abundance.❞
So how does your morning ritual look like? If you don’t have one, I greatly suggest it. It keeps you focused, but only if you stick to it daily!
I think it is about time for me to begin a new poetry challenge or else I will find myself not writing consistently. I’ve mostly gathered these prompts from: http://www.pw.org/writing-prompts-exercises
Since it is a spring challenge, I plan to finish this by June 21. Summer solstice.
- Randomly select a song and use the first line in your poem
- Write about the main character from your last watched show.
- Write a poem to or about a person close to you using any of the senses except sight.
- Lyn Hejinian generates a list of “good names” for motels, music groups, and streets. This week, create your own list of imaginative names for something and build a poem around your particular catalogue.
- This week, write a monologue in the voice of a fictional character. For inspiration, read Browning’s "My Last Duchess" and "Soliloquy of the Spanish Cloister." If you’re stuck, try assuming the voice of a character from one of your favorite novels.
- This week, write an ode to a household object. Try to come up with as many epithets and images for the item as you can.
- Many poets have found inspiration in other media: Painting, sculpture, even memorials appear in poems. This week, respond to a piece of visual art in verse. You can describe the work in detail, or the source of your inspiration can be subtly channeled into your poem. Similarly, you can choose to title your poem after the artwork or find a new title.
- This week, try to incorporate humor in your own writing. It can be a funny image, a pun, or a parody. See how this moment affects the tone of your poem, or how it leads you in a new, unexpected direction.
- This week, try to write about an invisible force that affects you deeply. For example, it could be your DNA, music, or the smell of your childhood home. Try to imagine the complexity of the invisible (at least to the naked eye) structure that you are describing. Integrate all of your senses to navigate its visual formlessness.
- Write a poem about a time the weather affected your life. Use imagery that symbolizes the ancient, omnipresent, and indifferent soul of nature: a sapling sheathed in ice, June moonlight on a broken window, a flashbulb thunderstorm over an evacuated swimming pool. The weather is different for every life. Put yours to poetry.
- Sounds are filled with meaning. Poets can use sounds not only to create wonderful and complex worlds through words, but also to create a rhythm and flow that gives life to the wind, the footsteps, and closing doors around us. Sit quietly somewhere with colorful and unique sounds: an art museum, a lonely riverbank, or a bustling subway station. Write a poem about the sounds you hear. Focus on the poetry and music of the sounds, and how the sounds put everything else—nature, life, and death—into context.
- Write a poem about a recent disappointment in your life. Be honest about your feelings. The power of your poetry begins with your truths.
- Write a poem about your family. Focus on the people who create the love, the pain, and the dynamics that define your family. Be honest. Be courageous. Be open.
- Our lives are constantly changing as we navigate what we can and can’t control. Every day there is a new beginning and ending—in big and small ways. We fall in love. We lose an eyelash. Write a poem about how your life is changing. Be specific. Change is complex and emotional on any level because it reminds us of our humanity—and of our mortality. Get writing.
- We all lose things in life that are uniquely special to us: a wool scarf knitted by a beloved friend, a letter opener that belonged to a grandfather, a stuffed animal won for a daughter at a state fair. Life moves forward and so do we. Time crowds old memories with new ones. We misplace the things we love. We lose them. Or, somehow, they just leave us. Write a poem about an object that has disappeared from your life. Use the power of memory and emotion to give it new life, rendering it no longer lost, but found.
- Select a quote and write a poem centering around that idea, and if desired, implement into your poem.
It is silent beneath the waves
The salt is now my friend
I think I’ll stay in the darkness.
3-16-14: Femto Drawing
I’m not particularly fond of Griffith, but no one can deny he looks awesome as Femto. Of course I’ve done my own take on his suit etc. I hope you enjoy though!
3-8-14: Film Recommendation
Three film students go missing after traveling into the woods of Maryland to make a documentary about the local Blair Witch legend leaving only their footage behind.
Okay, this may not be everyone’s cup of tea, but if you’re looking for a horror film without over-dramatic theatrics and a film that places the fear of the characters in you, then this is for you. I love slow built up terror and this film embodies it; the fear gradually begins to weigh down the three victims as they find themselves lost in the woods and realize something or someone is stalking them. The film may leave you a little frustrated if you like direct answers (ie. what is causing their terror), but the unknown makes it more frightening.
3 Words to Describe this Film: Creepy, slow-paced, true-terror
2-26-14: Introspective Crisis
As of late, the last five years of my life, and increasingly apparent in the last few months, I have delved further in the abyss of confusion. My thoughts are incoherent, and quite frankly I do not understand what is going around me. Life, at times, seems pointless. People seem empty. I seem empty.
I think, and I think, that this may have to deal with the realization that I must decide how to go about my life after graduation. Education has been institutionalized so I saw it as something that was naturally part of life. I blindly followed everyone. Now I see that we all have a choice and I ask myself, “what will I do with my life?” and, “what the hell have I been doing with it?” Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think there is one right way to live your life. If you prefer to stay home and watch anime, then so be it. It’s your life. The problem with me is that I pitifully wished that I was supposed to change the world for the better; I was just waiting for someone to tell me what it was.
I’ve mentioned this in a previous post and like I’ve said, I know that is not true, but still I can strive for it. The problem is I’m unsure how to go about this and I fear that I will live through life never feeling I accomplished my dream. I worry if I even have the potential to make a small change. I look at myself and I compare myself to an ideal me, but I don’t even know how to measure myself. I’m merely a being of collected perceptions from outsiders. I ask myself, “how do people perceive me?” It’s impossible to measure. People essentially perceive me based on the relationship I have with them, how I make them feel, and how they perceive themselves. So I then turn inwards, “how do I perceive myself?” and to be honest I really have no clue. Like I said earlier, my thoughts are muddled.
I guess the only thing I’m left to do is simply move forward and interact with the opportunities I am given; I’ll have to continue living to see how my life will unfold. Maybe I will achieve my goal, maybe not. Here is a full length response to my doubts and worries: http://alchemychild.tumblr.com/post/77989035041/2-26-14-the-alchemist-the-alchemist-i-arrived
Maybe you too will find encouragement in my terribly written words.
2-26-14: The Alchemist
I arrived home from school, threw myself onto the couch, and switched on the television to my favorite anime show. This was my way of hiding from reality. I chose to be a recluse in my home and live in the world of fantasy. Through books and anime I could live lives I could never possibly achieve in reality. So I lied there; inside my home, but essentially I was traveling with the Elric brothers on their adventure. They are characters from the anime show I was watching. The two brothers were alchemists and attempted to bring their mother back to life through alchemy, but failed and ended up losing more than just their mother. One brother had lost his entire body while the other lost his leg and arm. They accepted their fate and they did not grovel in despair. Instead they moved onward and were on their way to restore their bodies even though they knew suffering was waiting for them. At one point one of the brothers had told me, “you’ve got a good strong pair of legs, I suggest you use them.” I realized that I had to stop hiding and I had to move forward. Even if that meant I would fail. I wanted to be like the Elric brothers, I wanted to be able to carry onward regardless the obstacles I encounter.
Pain is inevitable. Life does not always grant our wishes but it is the blessings in life that drive us to bear our sufferings. These blessings are sudden gifts, so we cannot expect too much. If we create high expectations they will lead to disappointment. On the contrary, appreciating what you already have can grant someone satisfaction. People can survive the most unpleasant situations as long as they have a small ounce of hope for the future.
People have the choice to view themselves as a victim or to look past their sufferings and look forward toward the future. Viktor Frankl, a victim of the holocaust, chose the latter and he “succeeded somehow in rising above, above the sufferings of the moment, and [he] observed them as if they were already the past” (117). Frankl saw the unpleasant present as the past, a past he did not dwell on and instead he welcomed the future with open arms. Because he embraced the future, he was able to survive the concentration camps. On the other hand, “The prisoner who had lost faith in the future – his future – was doomed” (117). This prisoner believed a future was not waiting for him beyond the concentration camps. He had given up hope. Since he believed the future was nonexistent, he knew he could not move forward into the future and therefore, death greeted him. Death was either the physical force that left the prisoner’s body immobile or death took place inside the prisoner’s soul and resulted in a walking corpse.
The future is a garden and what will blossom are the unknown blessings people receive. Sometimes, weeds will sprout, they are stubborn and sprout out whenever they desire and we must pluck those weeds in order for the flowers to bloom. Those weeds represent unavoidable adversities and we must remove them in order for flowers to bloom. We must move forward and not fear the days which will bring pain because, there will also be days that will bring happiness.
Thorny weeds infested my garden and I was afraid to pluck them because once I did, the thorns would paint scars onto my bare skin. I was unaware that all I had to do was pluck from the root which was free from the thorns. Because of my ignorance, the weeds had trapped me and I was unable to move forward. My weeds grew because I victimized myself. I thought to myself how can I possibly accomplish anything. I am one person, and an ungifted one at that.
I faced the world despite my fear because I wanted to achieve my dream. Dreams are the treasures that we hope to proclaim, but life does not always grant us our dreams. A favorite director of mine, Park Chan-Wook, had once said, “I’ve always tried not to fall for the lies that say things like ‘you’re the only one who can carve out your own life.’… [because] life doesn’t go your own way.” We do not always have the ability to control what happens in life, such as the death of loved ones, but we do have the ability to accept and move forward. Maybe I cannot achieve my dreams, but moving toward my dream is enough. Life in itself is enough. We may continue to search for the chest filled with golden amulets, beaded pearls and silk embroidered with our desires and we also have the choice to realize that what we already have are the hidden treasures we have been searching for.
The Elric brother’s adventure was coming to an end. They were unable to completely restore their bodies, but they were still content. Even if fate did not want to completely give them what they wanted, they would continue to find a way to achieve their dream. They would search even if there was a possibility they would never achieve it. They continued to move forward no matter what. I took their advice; I began to use my legs. With my legs I treaded toward the weeds and ripped them out from the ground. I wanted blue bells, poppies, and cherry blossoms to ripen in my garden. I have realized that I will never know whether or not I can achieve my dreams unless I continue to move forward. Like the Elric brothers, I have become an alchemist; an alchemist is someone who creates gold out of ordinary substances. I am an alchemist who is transmuting every moment, even the difficult ones, into a moment of great value; these moments are necessary so I can move forward on my path toward my goal. Whether or not I achieve my goal, by the time I lay on my deathbed, I will know that I have planted an abundant garden.
A psychological thriller of a grieving mother turned cold-blooded avenger with a twisty master plan to pay back those who were responsible for her daughter’s death.
So I’ve been meaning to watch this film for a while and I wish I hadn’t waited a long time to see this film. The film’s play on images and music is quirky and intriguing. My favorite aspect of the film was the way the story was told. The film is sectioned by different characters. Since the film is narrated through first perspective, the audience can intimately connect to each character, although, many may feel uncomfortable in the thoughts of each of the characters. Initially, I thought the film’s plot encompasses the reveal of who was responsible for Moriguchi’s daughter’s death, but the film immediately exposes the murders and instead I began to anticipate each character’s take on their actions.
3 words to describe this film: disturbing, introspective, worth-your-goddamn-time.